Suicide is an important topic when it comes to mental health and the challenges that we face right here in Utah.
Suicide impacts not only the direct family members but also loved ones, friends, and even acquaintances. It can be devastating and challenging to heal or move forward in these instances. While the loss of a loved one is never easy, it’s important to acknowledge that death by suicide brings additional layers of complexity to the grief process.
When you lose someone to suicide, it is normal to grapple with a rollercoaster of emotions and grief. This is tragic, and we want you to know that while it may not seem like there is hope right this second, there is hope, and it’s something we can work toward when you are ready.
Processing Deep, Complex Emotions is Normal
It is common to experience things like:
- Experience an Overwhelming Sense of Loss
- Cycling in What You Could Have Done for a Different Outcome
- Anger, Frustration, Sadness
- Wondering How You Didn’t Notice the Signs
- Deep Guilt
- Unsure of What to Say or How to Process What Happened
- Unsure How to Navigate the Devastating Aftermath
And more.
Understanding the Impact of Suicide & Next Steps to Keep You & Loved Ones Safe
If you have suffered the loss of a loved one by suicide, it’s important to do a few things to help support you and those you love who are grieving too. When you lose a loved one to suicide, it significantly increases the risk of suicide in the community and family.
Suicide can have a ripple effect, where others who are close to the person we lost, also become suicidal as they are trying to navigate and process their grief and feelings about this tragic experience.
Here are a few things you can do to help support your loved ones after suicide:
1. Reach Out for Support:
Let your family, friends, and people who care about you show up. Let them sit with you, cry with you, and be with you. Isolation can make this situation so much more intense and put others, especially children, who are impacted, at a higher risk.
2. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Whatever You Are Feeling:
Rage. Deep disappointment. Anger, Remembering the good times. Wishing things could be different., Laughing at something they recently said to you. All of it. This is a natural part of processing death, and it’s important to recognize that death by suicide comes with its own set of deep emotions, experiences, and grief.
3. Don’t Stay in Suffering, Get Professional Help:
While grieving is a process and journey, if you are struggling with your own mental health, feeling lost, lonely, or you just cant do anything—don’t wait to get support from a professional.
There are lots of tools, and resources available to you so that you can be supported. The key here is to recognize that you are worthy of love and support, just like your loved one who is gone. If you feel at all like giving up, or have any doubts or concerns, do not wait, get help as soon as possible.
You can text or call 988 for immediate support.
Don’t be afraid to share this information with the community and your loved ones, too.
4. Losing a Loved One to Suicide is Traumatic:
This is a unique experience, and it comes with its own set of experiences, questions, emotions, and deep grief. Even despair and desperation can come with this experience. This is considered a traumatic experience, and seeking help from professionals can help you learn how to cope, navigate, and heal. Having empathetic support and strategies can decrease the risk of additional suicides in your family or community.
5. It Takes Time to Find a New Reality:
This is not something that you can just bounce back from. It is important to acknowledge the emotional toll and the journey of healing that comes after you lose someone you love. At first, it can feel grim, and we want you to know that you are not alone and there is hope. While life won’t be the same as it was before, we want you to know that there is a pathway forward where you can learn to live and be ok, even though it’s not really ok that they are gone right now.
6. Healing Doesn’t Mean You Forget About Them:
After losing a loved one by suicide, it can seem like healing or moving forward means that you forget them or move on, or pretend like their life didn’t influence you or matter. This is absolutely false. The purpose of grieving, healing, and finding your pathway forward is so that you can learn how to adjust to life now, and sort out how to live and honor, and remember them and the impact they had on your life. One of the things we remind our clients is that they can talk about the person they lost every day, say their name, remember them, and honor them.
Understanding How Therapy Can Help You & Your Loved Ones
Following a suicide, those left behind are often consumed by a mix of complex and overwhelming emotions. Grief, anger, guilt, shame, and confusion can make it challenging to reach out to loved ones or engage with social support. The stigma surrounding suicide can further isolate individuals and families, exacerbating the emotional turmoil. It’s important that if you or a loved one needs help that you reach out, particularly if you feel like you are in emotional distress.
Our team of trained therapists at Rooted Counseling and Wellness can offer a safe and non-judgmental space for individuals to express these emotions. We help clients explore and make sense of their feelings, offering guidance on how to gradually rebuild connections with loved ones and rediscover social and community support networks.
What Therapy Looks Like: Navigating the Aftermath of A Suicide
Here at Rooted Counseling & Wellness, when a client is navigating this tragic experience, we will focus our sessions on specific aspects and support you need right now to navigate and process what has happened.
Things we start with in therapy and focus on include:
- Coping Strategies: Learn effective coping mechanisms to manage your grief and emotions.
- Communication Skills: Improve your ability to communicate with family members and loved ones to rebuild relationships.
- Grief Education: Gain a better understanding of the grieving process and its unique aspects in the context of suicide.
- Processing the Trauma: There are a variety of therapy modalities that can help you through the healing process. Be it EMDR, ART or Lifespan Integration, there is more that will help you than sitting with it, or talking about it.
- Self-Healing: Discover self-care practices that can help you regain strength and resilience, and support your during this time.
- Building a Safe Support Network: Identify and build a strong support system, including family, friends, and community resources, learning that it’s ok to allow others to support you and show up for you now and moving forward too.
What to Expect When You Work With Our Team of Utah Therapists
Rooted Counseling and Wellness is committed to providing the help and support you need during this trying time. Our team of experienced and compassionate therapists specializes in grief work related to death by suicide. As trauma-informed therapists, who are here to help heal trauma and decrease the pain of trauma, we bring our expertise and empathy to guide you through this experience and find your pathway forward.
The pain of a suicide in the family is profound, and you must take your needs and the needs of living loved ones seriously. Actions that help to decrease the risk of further tragedies can be mitigated with the right support. Remember that by taking care of yourself and your loved ones who are still here, this is one of the best ways to honor and grieve the person you lost. Rooted Counseling and Wellness is here to guide you and your loved ones through this challenging time. Together, we can work towards healing and creating a future for all those affected by suicide.