It can be overwhelming to find a therapist with so many options and specialties available. Once you find one, how do you know if they’ll be able to help you? It can be hard to know if your new therapist is a good fit, even after a couple of visits. Here are a few signs to look for when determining if a therapist can help you with your mental health needs.
1. They Provide a Safe Container
Therapy is often uncomfortable, so a good indication that a therapist is a good fit is that you feel safe with them. This safety should be all-encompassing, including mental, emotional, and physical safety.
This may look different based on your needs. Some things to consider:
- Gender: Would you be more comfortable with someone who identifies as a specific gender?
- Race: Do you want someone who shares this identity or doesn’t share this identity?
- Location: Do you want to meet in person, virtually, or a mix? Is it in an area or building that is accessible to you and where you feel safe?
- Setting Expectations: Do you need someone who sets clear expectations for the process and explains it, or would you prefer less information?
- Culturally Sensitive: Do you want someone who understands your cultural identities firsthand, or would you prefer someone who doesn’t?
- Ethical Behavior: Does this person embody ethical and moral behavior and maintain appropriate ethical boundaries?
2. They Follow Your Pace
Therapists are here to help guide and hold space for your healing; however, they know that you are ultimately in the driver’s seat. While your therapist will help you stay focused on your goals, they will not push you to go places you’re not ready to go yet. The therapeutic relationship will include times when you are gently challenged and encouraged to move past your comfort zone for growth, but it should never feel overwhelming or pushy.
3. Training and Specialization
Depending on your needs, you’ll want to make sure your therapist is trained in or specializes in what you need support with. Consider the following things when looking for someone specialized:
- Diagnosis: If you have a diagnosis that requires more specialized training, such as substance use disorders, eating disorders, OCD, neurodivergence, or personality disorders, you may want to consider working with someone who has more expertise in that area.
- Identities: If you have an identity you would like to explore or need additional support with, such as sexuality, gender, race, religion, veteran status, etc., you may want to find a therapist who has experience or firsthand understanding in this area.
- Interest: If you are looking for specific support with things like trauma, perinatal support, women’s health, men’s health, sexual health, family or couples, parenting, grief, etc., you might find it helpful to find someone who specializes in that area.
4. You Feel a Positive Connection
While there are strict boundaries in a therapeutic relationship to maintain your safety, it’s normal to feel connected with your therapist. This is considered a positive therapeutic alliance, and having a strong rapport with your therapist that emphasizes safety and your autonomy will make it easier to facilitate your growth and healing.
Your therapist will be able to help you maintain a balance between being connected and keeping appropriate professional boundaries. While it should always feel supportive and safe, being too friendly might hinder your growth, and it’s important to address this with your therapist.
5. You Can Provide Feedback
Success in therapy greatly relies on the therapeutic relationship. There should be safety to discuss things about the relationship, including when things are going well and when they have been challenging.
Ruptures can happen in the therapeutic process, but can often be healing and encourage closeness. Therapeutic relationships are often a place to model other relationships, and being able to provide feedback and have your therapist listen and respond to it appropriately is important.
6. The Work Feels Collaborative
While there is a power differential between therapist and client, you are the one in control. It’s important that it feels like you’re working together toward your goals. As a client, you should feel empowered in sessions to share and direct. Your therapist should be guiding and supporting.
This may look a little different for everyone, but ultimately, there should be a shared goal and understanding, and both parties should be contributing and consenting to what is happening and what you’re working on.
7. You Can Be Yourself
The final sign is that you can be authentic and genuine in your therapeutic relationship. The more honest and open you are, the better the outcome of therapy will be. This isn’t to say you have to share everything with your therapist, but you should feel like you can share anything you need to. If you feel like you have to hide, lie, or mask with your therapist, you may want to consider talking to them about it. If you don’t feel like you can do that, it may be time to reconsider if they are the right therapist for you.
Give Yourself Permission
Trust your gut! Even if it feels like it’s a silly reason, if you don’t feel like your therapist is a good fit, it’s okay to advocate for yourself. We always encourage you to bring up concerns and have a conversation with your therapist. Most therapists understand the importance of the therapeutic relationship and will be happy to discuss this with you and help you find a referral for a new therapist if necessary. At the end of the day, there are no hurt feelings, and most therapists just want to see you get the support you need.
If you’re looking for a new therapist or trying to find the right one for you, our team at Rooted Counseling & Wellness specializes in a wide range of therapeutic services and areas of interest. If you have any questions or want to explore working with any of our therapists, please let us know by calling 801-508-4150 or by getting started here.